Blessed are those who are flexible
By Jean Caspers-Simmet
simmet@agrinews.com
Date Modified: 04/15/2010 8:48 AM
E-mail article | Print version
CLEAR LAKE, Iowa —Change. It happens whether we like it or not.
Those who are flexible and willing to adapt are the ones who will grow from change, said Gale Mote, owner of Gale Mote Associates, a Cedar Rapids-based training and educational business.
Speaking at the recent Women Around Ag conference in Clear Lake, Mote shared how she grew up on a small dairy farm near Pardeeville, Wis. Before leaving for college, she helped milk the cows and clean the barn.
"Dad got pipeline milking and an automatic barn cleaner after I went away to college," Mote said.
She attended her early grades in a one-room school and then made the big step to school in town.
She asked the women at the conference to share changes from their lives. In addition to those she experienced growing up in rural Wisconsin, her list of changes includes microwave ovens, cell phones, e-mail, GPS for cars and tractors, e-books and aging parents.
Change, she said, goes through four stages. First, we try to deny it. Next, we resist it. From there, we start to explore it, and finally, we commit to it.
People can be victims or victors of change, Mote said. Victims are helpless, paralyzed, constantly complaining, stuck in a rut, angry, tired and frustrated. Victors are helpful, hopeful, resilient, flexible, optimistic and determined.
"People who refuse to change talk about how they can't do it, they like the old way better, they say they're too old to learn," Mote said. "They're overwhelmed and uncomfortable."
Mote's formula for successfully dealing with change is to understand the need for change. Multiply that times vision, current reality and the total plan, and then divide it by resistance.
"You have to understand the need for change," Mote said. "You need a vision of where you want to go. You have to know what the current reality is. What are your strengths, weaknesses and habits? There has to be a plan. How are you going to get to where you want to be? The more resistance there is, the less chance there is for change."
To change, people need to stretch themselves.
"You'll always miss 100 percent of the shots you don't take," Mote said. "If you want to change, you have to be willing to take risks."
Mote shared hardships she has faced. She broke her neck and back in separate car accidents, and also suffered a bad break in her ankle.
"Each of these taught me something," she said.
She also shared how she once forgot a speaking engagement to a state secretary's convention. She wrote each attendee a letter of apology.
"I took ownership, apologized and move on," she said.
She urged women who feel overwhelmed to get organized and ask for help when they need it.
"Learn to say 'no' nicely," she said. "Be realistic and set limits. Decide when something is good enough. When you die, your in-basket won't be empty, and remember that a wet towel lying on the bed is not the same as a mugging."
It's a matter of perspective, Mote said.
"Avoid excess," she said. "Complaining should happen infrequently and criticism and gossip, never. Value friends and family, make time and space for you, and add some humor to your life."
Women Around Ag featured sessions on estate planning, grain marketing, investing, rural security, social networking, farm leasing and Iowa vacations.
The event was organized by Iowa State University Extension.